Well...today.....was the day mi xam results came out....(not all!..........thank god!!) but ya....today also happens to be mi bro's bday! well nothinout of d box ...its just his birthday......well actualli it is...he's finalli a teen...but like me ...hes not dat excited.....i went nd had a bash but him????
he's jst giving his classmates candy!......ok dats a custom......nd he got nu clothes.....
dats till now...
i dont kno wat "suprises" mi parents hav planned for him....
that line sounds so trite....im part of the family....OF CORS I SHUD KNO !!!!! Y WUD MI PARENTS PLAN SUMTHIN WIDOUT TELLIN ME?????
dumm aint i???
apart from that...i had skool ...wer d stuff i tokd abt happend....nd ya...me nd mi frnds...weve never bin in a more awkward moment...never!!!!
god.....we were all puttin on masks.....fakin all our smiles...everything...not bcuz of our marks....no no...it all starts nd ends with me...i started it....i cnt end it....i dont know how to..... do i tell them the truth...nd intimidate them or b silent nd b with them?
i cant choose....im unable to.....i hate being in such positions......its like a dilemma....its awful
the onli one who was blissfulli unaware of this was gugo.....(i think!)
but ya shitta zazu nd zokra were all in it....i dont know how to go about evrida now...without wonderin if nethin is going on ...that i dont kno of.....iv bin in situations like dis...but i so dint want dis to happen.....not now....not wen we're going to move forward in life.
im beginnin to feel like im a bitch........no1 allows to me to be free...no1....not one person...
im so strangled bi all this...i its not that no1 cares.....its wore...no1 cares enuf......and i stand...rit in d centre of all dis chaos...
with all deyr voices in mi head.....with all mi thoughts....happy, sad, funny,annoting, every single thing.
"When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day"
was jst lisenin to dis song...and was wishin atleast sm1 wud sing dis to me........jst sum 1...
well dats all 4 now!!!
