caught in btween

sanity and insanity

girl and woman

family and friend

pride and humility

reality and dreams

honesty and dishonesty

outside and inside

silence and chaos

faith and mistrust

compassion and concern


haves and hav-nots

kindness and prejudice

rules and rebels

calm and fierceness

sea and land

duty and procrastination

beauty and beast

humour and gloom

smile and frown

day and night

today adn tomorrow

fun and toil

freedom and work

love and lust

hate and disgust

slavery and independence

boerdom and excitement

developed and primitive

winning and losing

spontaneous adn thoughtful

perfection and imperfection

thoughts and actions

prayers and curses

peace and war

connections and loose threads

sketches and paintings

use and abuse

poetry and paragraphs

alike and different

likes and dislikes

fortune and misfortune

riches and rags

brain and brawn

volcano and ocean

breeze and tornado

hurt and indifference

help and heal

sensitive and numb

balance and imbalance

breath and breathless

strength and weakness

trial and error

ego and sacrifice

satisfaction and disappointment

living and dead

its a long thing to read...i kno
the gist of it??? - im confused....i v plannd mi futur...mi life....dats d preoblem....i dont know wat to do with the extra energy i have

yup...ok i m rili stupid now....wat do i do??? ill tok walk nd look thru stuff i havent
ill njoi

ill pik a fight.....with mr/ms random

yup..im dat jobless......get sumthin to da dan blog amrita.....its geting ridiculous.... various ppl may be viewing it for various reasons...and n no. of times

ATLEAST PPL READ IT!!!! ITS NOT LIKE DEY R UNINTERESTED!!!

ya mmeb...they jst read it bcuz they dont know how to communicate eith you
they read because theyd like to kno wat u dont tell them

RUBBISH!!! LIKE I WRITE NETHING UNSPOKEN OF OVER HERE!!

sumtimes u do...yes sometimes.....but y do u blog!

' HMMMM COME TO THINK OF IT...I RILI DONT KNO!!!'

see??? y do u blog??? u dont kno!!!
y do u chat ?? u dont kno!!!
what to do with all the energy u have??? u dont kno!!!
what to do in life?? u dont kno!!!
let me suggest sumthing..y dont u jst cool down adn lisen to sum music??

' WHAT A THERAPY!!!..' ILL ONLI FAL INTO DREAMLAND!

u dont like dreamland???

ITS JUST THAT I HATE COMIN BAK TO REALITY

hmmm get sm1 to tok to then

IM TOKIN TO U...DODO!!!!

yes u r....and were not reaching any conclusion or any decision
so ....i think its best u go on...leave those who fail to leave an impression ..and meet new ones..
THats the way of life

its said -

More often , we fall in love with a person we can never live with, & sumtimes, the one we truly love remains a sttranger, or a friend.

So whoever's reading this...what dyu think???

goodness me!!! this is a long post!!! i dint realise!!
so wat will i do now???

i will listen. learn to keep mi ears n eyen open and mi mouth shut.

nd btw...dats a pic of how tangled life can get........

monday blues, whites,greens and blacks

tring tring!!!!!!
dats d alarm...weakin me up in d mornin

dad comes in

here's ur water ...and juice...and coffee with ur b fast

ty dad! i sa

( i kno u think im wieeerd to hav all this at once but i dont....im just lazy to go down nd get them ... so dad brings dem all up...to giv me compani while i mug write and revise)

wash mi face .. brush mi teeth....bla bla bla

got to mi books at 5

the onli thing dat is in mi head is the fact that the week has begun again...back to the daily monotony which breaks mi head, back to the daily downloads of information from the book to mi head....sigh!

im gonna go bonkers soon..if im alredi not!


it happens every single time...on a monday...my least fav day of d week ....mi dad makes the most gloomi kind of bfast....porridge...ragi porridge...sigh

even sprouts are more interesting

but today..for me sumhow time passed by so so slowli....like mi watch ws dead!

or meb i finishd studyin a lot more than i usualli do!

its bin such a long time since i felt young ..u kno totalli mast and carefree.....i jst let rip today...evn tho i was alone...

but hell its bak to monotony again aftr sumtime...like evri1 sz....DRAW THE LINE> nd stay within the limits

im a daredevil....so?

so?

what does it matter to ne1 ...as to what kind i am...im just timepass.....casual timepass...

it matters to me!!! one f mi frnds say!
i care!... another sz

i think we shud change d topic .............sm1 sz


wateva......yet another

wat???????....and the replies go on...nd on nd on

insecurities...uncomfortable....

leave . get out. right now. its the end. we exist no more. its u . its me. no we.

hello...who sd im hurt....im flying away!!!!

Taare zameen par

Honestly, I hav never seen a movie more expressive in bollywood! Kudos to aamir and darsheel safary( ishan avasthi)....realli made me feel as a part of the movie.
Emotions, and situations were porteyed reali reali well. Cudnt hav done it better!..atleast thats mi opinion!

dat pic was realli cute....i cudnt stop remmberin wen i usd to do exactli d same!

Farewell

A once upon a time creation,
A story once begun
A lie once told
A boon once given

A cloth once cut
A mark once made
A prank once played
A journey once made

A forest once destroyed
A life once taken
A road once journeyed
A life once lived

A day once gone
A destiny once fulfilled
A friend once gone
A heart once broken

A crime once committed
A memory once made
A secret once shared
A thought once had

A bond once formed
A hunger once satiated
A thirst once quenched
A once upon a time creation.

jaane kyon

ME and zokra wer discussing the possibilities. ANd thats wen i sd ..im not sure wether to believe in god or not. Den she sd sumthin . A realli good pt... actualli.....der was a foto of hanuman taken bi sum fotografer in d himalayas.
I knew the entire stori....the photo was taken and the fotographer attained "moksha"

ANd l8r another bunch spotted the camera nd got d foto and thats how everyone came to know abt the holy monky aka Hanuman... in d himalayas.

I must say... that dint baffle me, but it does mean that gods did exist... but does that also mean that idolism is right?

SOmeone said- U either see the beautyof the carved stone or the god within. One can''t see both


I agree with whoever sd it.

Thats why im more into a bodyless god aka advaita

'sfunny God actualli having a body does baffle me. How is it poosible.HOw cud they have also been mortals? How come we dont realise the fact that inside us...there is god???

But if there is a god inside us....why dont we also feel him?? Are we stupid?? or plain nothings?

ANd thats wen zokra sd...wat if there was nothing???
wat if there was absoluteli nothg.......no earth no solar system....no universe.....no us jst nothing...

no matter or anti matter
no energy
jst plain nothing......

but ya..ill think abt dat wen im free nd not waste mi time now...
ill get d answer's in mi sleep ....sum1 told me.....hope it happens.

rem acu testigisti

"Good morning class"


"Good mor - ning maam"


"I want all of you to sing the school song now for graduation day
Many of us do not know the lines, nd hardly any one knows the tune!"

"Start now! Amrita..start!"

"Yes maam"
And there the class goes.....
" Lord help us to reach out to others
in the midst of our darkness shining

Let the light of our alma mater shine on us
Set us free from the shackles of ignorance

Shine on JAAASSSS
Shine on JASSSSSs

Shine let it shine
flood our school with blood and gory
Blaze spirit blaze set our school on fire!!!!

Flow river flow
flood our nation with peace and harmony
hepl us reach out
reach high
reach beyond!!!!


and that was that...
our remixed school song.. sung by the "heroes" of the class made us erupt in laughter..holdin our tummies tight nd giggling.. especialli d shine on jass part..it was so audible!

And hilarious

Ill miss mi skool days, for sure. Being in the same skool for ten years, iv felt change in the same place.I'll never forget those walls within which so much happened.

Nostalgic , already???? i cnt leave! there's so much i cant forget!

I kno d title jst dznt make sense to wat im saying.....i meant to type something...yet something else comes out.

Its alwais d case . Every single time.

Someone commented that I took his every single word as if it was a message from heaven...

Realli i was dumbfounded...was that the impression he had of me?What had i said that made him think so??
I felt worse. Mi words never conveyed anything i wanted to say.

MOm once said - live life such that u would have no regrets,

i have so much to fell awful about. I should learn to be more vague, more closed.
THere's nothing to reveal. There's nothing to cherish. Not with people misunderstanding u more, whenever u begin to xplain.

Impressions. rem acu testigisti......mi foot

yup...chat can convey stuff in words....but there's so much more in my mind...whatdya call it
" junoon"...and a lot more

the very reason i dislike chatting.....unless its with peope i realli know...and who know me...nd what i infer from wat i type.

As long as i have them, im fine, and im satisfied.

People hurt. yes, but thats life isnt it?
I wont crib. Iv learnt there's beetr stuff i can do than that. I ca do a jig, and hav a ice conversation with miself to clean myself inside.

Or ill do some tai chi. Keeps me stable.

"Where it was dark now there's light
Where there was pain now there's joy
Where there was weakness, I found my strength
All in the eyes of a friend."

Fake a smile , fake a laugh, fake everything. A bogus, worthless LIfe

il live the wa i want to, thank u. i dint understand what mi neighbor sd....but now i do. CHat is nonsensical. What we do on chat is nonsense....atleast most of it

btw...dats mi facebook disney character....cn ne1 understand????in case ur wonderin who seh is...she's mulan ....a loveli movie...i loved it....


PS - to whom so ever it may concern- iv got mani spellin nd grammatical errors here....nd i dont care to correct them...nd i dont think u wudv noticed...but in case u wud hav.....im sori....for nothin....nothin at all.

Note to self

One can be a good person, and also a bad friend.

One second can change everything.

A 2% chance of survival is all i need to be succesful

Life is what i make out of it.... i will create my own destiny

Sounds like bits and pieces from chiken soup....na?
it is....exerpts that made me look ahead...to the new day...

Well ya....iv jst made a big muddle again. but hell...isolation is part of the process....i need it to become better than before

One of my friends happend to drop by nad visit today, and she was tellin me how much i had changed since we last met.... she said id become more vibrant, more glowing. well ya..she said a lot more...but im not gonna type it all rit now.....

WEll her suprise visit made mi day....it was like i had someone to be with...(if u know what i mean)...someone to jst reminsce all those days with....

but damn she had to leave too.....it felt like so soon.....we all know the paradox....

But yea....one bright light in the sky , not a bad sign at all!

im lookin forward to tomorrow. Like seriosly....not cuz its a hol

guys....a hot topic????

Ive met , chatted with, tokd to, and sms'd guys, of all types. From A to Z. They'r all there.

The dudes, hunks, introverts, perverts, humorous, obscure, bugging, irritating, obnoxious, cute, sex addicts, charming, intelligent, oldies, youngsters, desperate, wierd, wierdos, geeks, the stupids, the naughty's, the cunning, sweet, too polite, talkative, shy, cautious, foolish, and the just right people....and u may think that iv seen it all

WIsh i could say the same thing.......there's sumthing that these guys all hide...every single guy.....just like us girls....who sd dat guys r open ???

Growing up transformed the previosli "friendly " guys into men with handsome faces in chariots, looking as if they wanted me to come down the aisle towards them......ya rit!

they jst became some sort of target that i jst coudnt hit.
Something that was also irresistible.

Now in 12th grade...after so much.....
Guys??? what do i care?? THeyr jst right for me or theyr not.You can choose who u want to like...leave the rest.
Theyr friendly in theyr own way

Few ppl interest me. Very few , actualli. THey make me laugh , cry, and that feeling lasts for a few moments. Its time to transform, to break away.

a new day......always

i am worried...no doubt about it... with almost no means of communication except d net nd mi dum cellfone...(on wich i hate calling! and on wich i get all dese unwanted calls!!!)i am left stranded....
i feel like being alone once and the other??? i cant wait to get out adn tok!!but theres's no 1...dats all i feel ...empty.....silence....except d constant music dats playing on d radio ...and the neighbor's drums and casio...what an existance..!!!!

i cant wait to show the world who i am! onli if i cud free miself from these bonds...bonds ...mi friends....mi flesh... mi heart...i want the solution..i will get to the solution...
as i type dis...mi world spins....u nko wat dat means...im in conflict again....to b me or to b what oders expect..

its life...its mi damn life...i cant wait to get out of this place...i cant wait to b the queen inside me...i cant wait to be the success emanating woman inside me..
yet on the outside...all i show is a fake smile ..a nod, a grin, a laugh, a frown, a word, and yes a lot more wrds actualli....but there's nothing of that..what dyu call it??? ya..mindtalking...

its become increasingly difficult to converse without words....
mi eyes hav stopped showing mi feelings...people say all they see is blank i look blank ....in a daze.

i am dazed too.... im becoming numb. not numb in fear!
numb with these worries..
they dont allow me to take control of my life. jst dont.they wont leave me alone...unlike my friends. All of them...all of us....evri1 ...we're all so superficial.....sumtimes....and it jst drives me NUTS!!!!especialli on chat....we all tell each other "im great da"...wen we know we're not......
sickening....brings a lurch in mi stomach......gdfiotvwmiesh/....


msgin each other....well its no memory i'd treasure. Definetli not one

u kno what i want to right now! i want something! anything! jst giv it to me! right now!
u hav it! i need it! i want it !

o pls pls pls

dil chahta hai.
ohohohohohohohohohoho
ohohohohohohohohohoho
ohohohohohohohohohoho
ohohohohohohohohohohoooooooooooo

yanni.......his music...and me

was lisenin to yanni's entire acropolis concert......i felt like being in heaven.....i felt so awesome...with gooosebumps at times....u kno....remmbering d old good times...and the times iv bin angri...upset....jst flooding.....i dint kno if i was cryin outta sadness or happiness!!!!! :D

beautiful...ders no oder wa to describe his creations...from soulful to divine to mesmerising to simpli great......

d baby or rather brat next dooor was dancin to d music....cudnt help but smile!!!
hes such a cutie...cnt stop playin with the guy..nd he cant stop imitating me!!! but his smile melts mi heart....

im not joking!!! i fell so happy wen he's around me ...except wen im not able to play with him!!!
baby's know so much...they can see everything.....more than what we see....They are intelligent can understand more than we do....they communicate bettr and think more advanced....
it is so unfortunate that we adults dont understand...they know all the secrets of life....the force guiding us communicates with them ...helps them grow and learn......

awsome aint it??

cmin bak ....dat video is d onli 1 dat took d least time....all d oders tok tooooooo much time....but uv gotto lisen to d violin part...if d first guy is a bit too slow....but dis song rocks 2!
it is calld d storm....a great one.

i was also liseninn to dis song calld sail away....a not- recent- one by rasmus.....it made me feel so good....
here are mi favorite lines


No reason to lie
No need to pretend
I'm grateful to die
To live once again
I'm fearless to fly
And reach for the end
And reach for the end

means so much...so much...

sm1 told me that i.....was ( hidden matter ...cant be reveald)
u kno wat??? i think dat person was and is senseless!!!i dont giv a shit abt wat wat he sz! ok...actualli i rili dont care....but u kno...wat if i dd care??? how wud i hav felt??
god knos......ya rit...like he exists.....i dont bliv in sumone calld god...
its jst a damn force.....

:)

REsults ....of xams... nd a lot more......

Well...today.....was the day mi xam results came out....(not all!..........thank god!!) but ya....today also happens to be mi bro's bday! well nothinout of d box ...its just his birthday......well actualli it is...he's finalli a teen...but like me ...hes not dat excited.....i went nd had a bash but him????
he's jst giving his classmates candy!......ok dats a custom......nd he got nu clothes.....
dats till now...
i dont kno wat "suprises" mi parents hav planned for him....
that line sounds so trite....im part of the family....OF CORS I SHUD KNO !!!!! Y WUD MI PARENTS PLAN SUMTHIN WIDOUT TELLIN ME?????
dumm aint i???
apart from that...i had skool ...wer d stuff i tokd abt happend....nd ya...me nd mi frnds...weve never bin in a more awkward moment...never!!!!
god.....we were all puttin on masks.....fakin all our smiles...everything...not bcuz of our marks....no no...it all starts nd ends with me...i started it....i cnt end it....i dont know how to..... do i tell them the truth...nd intimidate them or b silent nd b with them?
i cant choose....im unable to.....i hate being in such positions......its like a dilemma....its awful

the onli one who was blissfulli unaware of this was gugo.....(i think!)
but ya shitta zazu nd zokra were all in it....i dont know how to go about evrida now...without wonderin if nethin is going on ...that i dont kno of.....iv bin in situations like dis...but i so dint want dis to happen.....not now....not wen we're going to move forward in life.

im beginnin to feel like im a bitch........no1 allows to me to be free...no1....not one person...
im so strangled bi all this...i its not that no1 cares.....its wore...no1 cares enuf......and i stand...rit in d centre of all dis chaos...
with all deyr voices in mi head.....with all mi thoughts....happy, sad, funny,annoting, every single thing.


"When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day"

was jst lisenin to dis song...and was wishin atleast sm1 wud sing dis to me........jst sum 1...
well dats all 4 now!!!

FUN FUN FUN!!!!

well we had our last preps yestrday.....and man after dat...all we dd was enjoi.....
We went out to dis cafe......nd i rili lovd d food der.....but jees was it xpensiv....had to shell out a lot actualli....
ND ya...aftr dat i went to zokras hows...dint do much ovr der actualli...but i was trullli happy der.....i felt so good......we playd baddi....den dressd up for d batch parti......not a big task ...but had to rush to zazus hows...den gugos hows......
fifi wasnt cmin...tho most f her frnds wer der......who also had to face the same test.....
but ya...so mani ppl wer der...nd man....we dancd dancd dancd to d music...evn d nerds nd d music shy guys dancd...tho horribli.........duuh...evn i sukd i spose.... :)





o ya....i dint tell u abt the pran we playd on m???.......it was hilarious.....
well gar calld m as amrita...nd ya made up a stori abt her shy frnd....a guy.....who was rili intrstd.....in m...nd i dont kno if m bot it or not.....but she was sure intrstd.....nd ya...she was told dat d guy wud b wearin a blak shirt nd wud hav spikd hair....nd wud wait for her aftr her aieee class.....OBv we hadnt plannd for ne guy to wait ...we jst wantd to c her reactn...

ND d best part...aftr her aieee class....der was a guy with d very same descriptn!!!!she was scared nd dint kno wat to do.....she was scared i spose......dats wen me nd zokra spottd her...gugo was tryin to point in dat guys dirn....but we dint realise.....dam....but hell it was fun....nd aftrwards she sent a msg sayin dat she was scared......

But ya....wat fun!!!

d parti went on into d mornin....but i wasnt a part of dat ...i left erli enf....:(

but it was fun...so mani ppl lookd jst sexy...sum lookd plain dorky...
i must say i was in between.....

but ya...we freakd out on dat day....nd i forgot to take mi cam der...oderwise i wuda put up a pic here.......damn....
but its 1 day ill neva 4get!!!!!

School.....a truckload of memories

on farewell day...on graduation day...i dont kno wat ill b missing most.....mi friends ...d ambience in skool...or d teachers.....
ill miss all d fiting nd fun we had....
ill remmbr all d funni episodes...all d playing.....it was so awesome...
i was in mi skool togethr for 10 yrs.....a lot has bin done....so much done
so much to do
im not tokin abt learnin.....iv got to try nd remmbr all dose days....nd never forget dem..!!!!

what a big deal u mit say...it is a big deal....no1 remmbrs deyr past....but ya i want to...so ill try

ur wonderin wat dat pic is doin here>>>>> dats a mark on mi hand..made by mi best friend..... shes so sweeet
...tho i had to wash it d next da....waaaaah!!!
nd dat tattoo brings bak sooo much to me...dats y i had to put it.....

The PERFECT guy...

Recently , one of mi frnds asked me (on chat) what the perfect guy for me was....
how wud i define him.....well
this set me thinkin...nd i went thru mi old diaries...nd i found what i was lookin for.....the way i wantd the perfect boyfriend.....all writtn way bak wen i was in 8th grade!!! Tho my views right now differ a bit.....its amazing how mature mi mid was ven in those days....when i had a slur in mi speech....nd wen mi life underwent so much change.....i dont even remmbr much of that time....
SO here goes.....mi entire list......of what d perfect guy is...

ok....it may sound illogical....but i found nothin else dat would define him!!!!

1) A person who loves me more than he loves his life.Even if this doesn't happen during our first meeting.....its a sign of true love.

2)
A person whom i can count on, someone who encourages, enlivens, calms, and makes me open up.

3) A good decision maker. A blessing in disguise.

4) A person who can undderstand what im goin through. A person who can accept me for who i realli am.

5) A faithful, truthful,just, humble, polite, ehose smile should reach his eyes.

6)A tinge of ego is fine......cuz he needs to challenge me 2!

7) A person who doesn't give in to negative stuff like smoking, drugs, drinking etc.....( it shud not b like he's addicted or sumthing!!! he can have it occasionalli.....duuh cuz even i like to)

8)A guy who keeps company, who will take out time just for me, a guy whom i can respect.

9) Someone who loves the same kind of music that i do, someone who ensures safety and security.

10)A person who trusts me. And forgives me.


11) A person whose feelings i can reciprocate...an finally a person who buys me stuff......watevr it may be......and who constantli tells me he loves me!!!!!

Yup ...thats it...so wat dd u think??

gabble, gobble grapple, GAAAAAAA

ok so that was the stupides title iv evr seen.....iwerd isnt it....
now to let you know about the way things stand...
first of all u shud kno wat thngs are...they can be anything......from mi table to d books on dem to the clouds outside...to this computer...to the people on the streets....yea yea.....u get mi point...
wel....
here...wat i mean by thinhs r how things r goin with evr1.....

well hopefulli we'll b goin to dat place on lavl rosd...watevr its calld..mocca r sumtin..

d parti's on monda....DD as usual....kinda stupid....im jst goin der to b wid mi frnds.....
wat else is der to look fwd to?

nd ya...i hav mi final prep exam wich is math ( YUCK!!!!) on monda.....nd den freedom!!!

things r goin in d +ve dirn.....a very good sign....

Zokra has a bad nerve pull...d pain s killin her...poor thig i rili feel bad for her.....must b awful..

I saw jwm....fu days ago....jst awesome...lovd d kissing scene..was so cute.....i find sum scenes in sum movies stupid....dey drool over each other ...dats all.....nd we sit with it for 5 mins.....but sum kisses r so cute nd nice....

ok ditch dat...i went of to a totalli different topic.....

gugo is doing all she can to get a dam centum ....to avoid being killed bi her mom..

fifi???? shes great.....but shes busi preparing for iit nd all her Us entrance exams....she's happy.....but ya...we're all wonderin as usual...how she gets d energy nd d will to do it all!

zazu? shes doin good...she suggestd dat mocca place too btw.......yup thats d gist....

shitta.....shes jst herself...makin me go bonkers all d time....dats i ilke her!!!!

Courtesy's sake

ME and mi frnds go for a party
We call someone else too
She's not our frnd, jst sm1 we kno
Courtesy's sake

I invite my friends over
My parents ask me to call someone
I dont know her, but mi parents do
Courtesy sake

Its someone's birthday celebration
I hardly know the person
Yet i have to get this someone something theyll like
Courtesy's sake

How many times have i bin called
just for courtesy's sake?
Just how many times have i felt stupid, doing the unrequired?
just for courtesy's sake

Wil i always hav to fake a smile
just for courtesy's sake?
YEs...dammit...so jst put on that mask, act truly happy
just for courtesy's sake

crash and burn

its such a beautiful song........
one of mi friends dedicated it to me.....thats when i askd him what he would dedicte to me...but it was so sweet of him...i must admit...the moment i heard the title crash and burn...i was a bit disapointed...thot i made him cras and burn....lolz....
buti must also admit...when i heard d song....it was so opposite from what i thot ...d song is so so lovli.......
heres d video of it -



dont u like it.....i like dis guys eyes.....in d video.....jst amazing...
dont u think mi friend is so sweet???

i think so....hes straightforward, honest, nice, nd he understands me, he knows how to help in so many ways, im glad i hav som1 like him in mi life....thank you so much for evrithing!!!!...i mean i dont kno if he's gonna evr read dis...but thats what id like to tell him....
till now...out of the 100s f guys iv tokd chattd or spokn to, ther r so few who hav made it into mi heart who i realli like tokin to......its mi life....but id like to give chances.....evn to those who havent........
i was lookin at the ironi...i mostli chat with guys!! hardli ne gals....except mi close frnds.....
funni....it alwais hapens dat wa....most guys want to get to know d gals......i sumhow hate it that way......
they alwais start so steriotypicalli...
what mi name age ndlocation is...
if i hav a bf
if they cud b mi frnd
their intro
nd den deyll ask for mi fone no
i m normalli vague wen i answeer these questions...but these guys cannot take d hint nd dey keep plodding on...( i dont kno if theyr dumb or if they hav gutss.)
watevr they think they form such a rong impression of me...dey r so impatient...nd ppl i mostli lose mi patience with are guys.......

if i let you go

But if i let you go....
i will never know
what my life would be holding you close to me
will i ever see u smiling back at me
how will i know
if i let you go


I wish i could say the same words tosome1........i havent fallen in love..wat "fallen"..ppl are happy in love rnt dey???.....there are so many things to be spoken we're so much like each other . Im sure he likes me....we're close friends.....we've spoken so much....if hed feel this way......r those signs of love.....if tey r ..im in love with tooooo many people
We've laughed, fought,shared so many things on the net. If only he'd realise what he's bin missing, he's a true gem of a person. A true gem. He brings out so much in me....ya rite amrita....keep dreaming....

an enlightening chat.....

well ther are these people who try to understand who u r......nd dey do theyr best....
i dont kno wat makes me so uneasy.....d moment dey try to ask questions...i just shrivel up...im obscure...im a thinker....im sensitive....i am so much....i am so less too
well ther is dis frnd f mine....name hidden....who i rili thot was s much like me...in ways of thinking...atleast...he made ma happy funny sad angri...i felt so mani emotions at d same time......
heres a part of d conversation we had....

him:
to be frank

maybe

i dunno

to be frank

i dunno myself

i dunno wad im doin in this world

me:
nor do i

him:i dunno for wad reason god sent me

to this world

me:
same here

him:: coz all i knw is i haven done anythin gud till now

me:
id like to kno who god is.

who r wat?

nd who gave him all dat powr

him:: some1 or somethin i and u (if im not rong) believe in

me:
y d hell he dznt use it to help us

him:: probably he was the first one to be born

i agree

probably he wants us to knw how to use it on our own

to be self sufficient

to be independent

and to care for evry1 al of us knows

me:
if we had d power na?

i dont think i do...

him: i believe in god

me:
i dont ha d power to b evriwer

him: but still i will say

u do

me:
i bliv dat ders a force

him: its there inside

u

hidden in a corner

me:
no person...

him: waitin to be unleashed

me:
god dznt hav a bodi...

him:
probably

probably not

me:
i wish id think d wa u do

him: no1 knws

me:
i want to kno...

told u

i like to kno evrithing

abt death

about god

about mi duty here

him:: ul knw it l8r in life

me:
i cant wait

him: atleas im pretty sure ur born to do somethin gr8

me:
nd how cn u b so sure

him: somethin which only u can do

thats wher ur inner knowledge comes

one thing u shud knw is to believe in urself

although im saying all this i hav nevr had the trust in me

me:
i was wonderin

d same

him:i will probably believe u

but not myself

i dunno y

and probably for that reason god sent me

here

me:
it happens...advice is d easiest to give...hardest to rake

tak

e

him:: i agree

me:
i dont kno who to ask all mi questions ....

him:: i do belive that nothin is impossible

ask ur self

ask b4 sleeping

ul knw all the answers in ur dreams

me:
ya....dey all come bak to d same thing..

him:: dreams r a reality

me:
if onli i was god

him:: ur

me:
o rili

him:: ur to me

to ur parents

to ur other friends

and to all the ppl around u

whom u make happy

but i won say happiness is evrythin

u need money as well

yup thats wat i felt i he had so silmilar to wa i had......der r so mani things n dis world i hav to discover...i hav to learn......i hav so much to do........i hav to c so mani things in life...

im gonna do de all ....nd i hope to accomplish d tasks i wantd to n d chat...
adios for now