Back to front!

I was looking at the chatlogs...and my old blog posts. ANd boy, what a difference!

I used to be a lot more kiddish! literally, i've found so much of nonsense in all those chats, and blog posts. Absolute rubbish. I was trying to make some sense out of it, and couldn't. I was just wasting everyone's time. Now, it's so different.

Chat with the same person, only two years later. And the difference is so obvious. I was asking one of my pals about it yesterday, and he said the same thing. A sort of slow transformation. And he liked it!....HA

One of my other friends just didn't like the full hand typing..she said it was appearing formalish. I like this sort of change. It's not overnight. And there are people who say we taurians hate change.

Change can be by the second, by the minute or annually, it's just that we don't like drastic change too soon. It takes time for me to adapt to what's the new "normal".

I'm going to zokra's house for a sleepover today. I need to spend some time away from home. The monotony is getting very disturbing.
Will have to fit in a visit to school too. That's me, fit in things into the shortest available timespan.
So lazy!

Oh ya! i was talking to my junior too. She reminds me of this confused, crazy, intelligent and helpful girl. Actually, that's what she is! And she's damn hyper! A bit immature, if you ask me.
Who knows, i'm comparing her with the way i was...., there are so many worsos out there!
STUPIDOS!
I'm even helping out a 21 year old man! Everyone said i understand them completely, do i understand myslef completely?
Do they understand me? Do they want to?

And i'm counselor! Juniors seem to ask ME for advice! WHAT? i mean, when did i advertise myself? Mom gets very irritated when another kiddo calls " Yenna idhu? Yevlo calls vandhundeirrukanno? Thaaangala ! Tell them to call your mobile!!!"

I had a lot of online work to do, so quite a few hours spent online. And my eyes red. Everyday. And there's this cousin, whose asking me if i've just gone through a break up.

I've been through a lot of arguments lately. Mini ones though. Cat fights. Spitting, mewing, clawing, you get the idea.

I've begun to think differently about things. Also, all this counselling has roped me into more shit. It's different, talking to people influences in so many ways!

I'm now caught in a triangle( me being the centroid). Just don't know what the truth is anymore. Sometimes, logic and intution gives me an answer, but this time, i'm just least bothered. The answer lies before them. They'd see it even if they're blind. Stupidos.

Went to my friend's place yesterday. Had a lotta fun! CAtching up with each other, pranking silly people, and grooving to music, awesome day! She wrote in my scrapbook, finally!

I'm beginning to really dislike this guy. One moment he's all understanding, the next moment, he's an asshole, a big shithead. So self centred. I can't even knock him off... i've never seen such a concieted bastard. I hardly ever have such disgust for someone, but this time it's totally such a put off. What the hell does he think of himself? Some all intelligent, handsome, charming guy?

Maybe i'm just an ignorant bitch. Really want to pulp up his brain.
I think we've argued more than conversing. And to think i thought we'd be great pals. Fuckin' mistake. I should have never trusted him, believed in him, or been open. I should have slammed the door on his face.

Wierd, i've never really written like this before... well, just one nice thing. I liked his eyes, and his smile. Never saw what was underneath. No feelings. none at all. Why did he just screw my ass and just sit there laughing at the pain i went through?

Bastard. Son of a bitch. Note to self - Never talk to him again. You don't give a shit.

Was talking to him the other day, and he was talking about his ex. And the next moment, he's kissing me. kissing me. And after that, he's gone.

Now, looks like i need a counsellor. I need help. I need someone to talk to.