so sumone described what love was....

i happend to appear online on bearshare....a very big mistake.....being flooded with all dese im's and friend requests.....its not a happy experience at all......after telling everyone that ur a sum1 in thiis earth 5 times...one does get rili bored , bugged, not to mention impatient as the questions keep comin on nd on nd on. adn u hav to keep typing the same replies...and sum buddhoos..dont seem to understand correct english.......and answer in the most biased english..

but ...out of approx 25 ppl.... i found one...who seemd to be pretty interesting....he askd me d usual..if id had a bf..nd such....he askd me if i knu wat love was.....i sd no....but ya...watevr iv felt must b close to it..im not a many men woman....

i askd him what he thot it ws..i found his repli close to what i felt....but honestli..if that's love..how do most people in love ever survive????

here's d bit of d conv.. we had...

alpit: do u bliv in luv??me: i do bliv inn love

i dont kno wat it is tho

4:02 PM alpit: i think,,,,,love is emotion 2 feel as other

4:05 PM me: hmm

it is an emotion

4:06 PM but i dont know how it makes one feel

4:07 PM alpit: if we like 2 meet wid someone alltim,,,want 2 see 4 a while at any cost,,,relate everythin wid him.......

its love

4:08 PM feel happy or sad wid his or her emotion

4:09 PM love is mainly a mental understandin b/w two

4:10 PM r u there???

me: ya...

uv bin in love huh??

alpit: yea....was sumthing good and bad...will never regret it.

i cud relate to watevr he defined....
but the question still remains...

getttin mi feet on the floor

ther's smthing sweet , and almost kind
but he was mean adn he was course and unrefined

and now he's dear and so unsure
i wonder why i dint c it there before

she climbs this way
i thot i saw
and wen we touched she dint shudder at mi paw!
no we cant be...illl just ignore...
but then she's never lookd at me that wa befor

oooooooo isnt this alarming???
whod hav evr thot that this cud be..
tru that hes no prince charming
but thers suthing in him that i simpli dint c.....

there may be sumthing there that wasnt there b4

fairytale music.....courtesy...beuty and the beast

loveli music i must say...if i could attach an audio clip here...i definetli wud hav....

its definetli better than lisening to " crazy kiya re"....a zillion trillion times bettr....
meb u cant dance dat much to d badb song...but ya....its much more likeable ....

but ya...one thing it doesnt do....it dose NOT let u stop dreaming...dats unles ur a cold logic sorta person...which im not!!!!

so i cant get to reality when lisenin to dis song...which i y..i ....dont lisen to it much.....i was jst browsin thru d files to c wat music i put on d mp4.....nd i came across dis song...nd i felt so warm once again! :)

tru tru amrita very tru....how will u ever grow up....ders no dream man whos going to come!!!....ull jst hav to adjust!!!

BALLS!!!IM NOT DAT SORTA PERSON...I HAV MI IDAELS TOO....IM NOT GONNA B RIGID WID DEM...BUT YA..I KNO MI DREAM MAN EXISTS.....IM NOT GONNA WAIT FOR HIM....WHO SD??? I HAV MI OWN LIFE!!!...IF I FIND HIM?? ITS GONNA BE SO.... SO .....COLLOSAL!!!

dreamland again????

LOOK HERE, I KNO UR D MORE SENSIBLE ONE, ATLIST MOST OF THE TIMES....GIVRE ME A CHANCE......Y DONT U?????

dd u kno anger...helps people make better decisions???? in a survey it sd....people who r angri..tend to easili reach key points and make better decisions....
but the anger referred to is calculated anger....not hysterical rage.....

U TAUNTING ME??

no no, that wasnt mi intention at all. it was just a wa of diverting the conversation.but hell...wherever i go, u alwais seem to be willing to but ur head against the wall.what can i say

thats were ur illogical self comes into picture, were u assume mani things. where u visualise stufff that has , and never will happen.

ADVICE............ITS POURING IN ON ME FROM EVRIWER. I DONT KNO ABT U, BUT IM SINKING.

whoa..u can chose who and what u wanna lisen to!!!...remmbr d "wateva" guy???? he dd jst dat!!!
and remmbr......u can hear.....no need to listen!
just dont forget urself in d process.....dont forget that atlist fu ppl want good.

YEAH. SO THATS ALL FOR NOW?

ur going???? now????

STUPD SOULS TEND TO READ THIS ....

it doesnt matter.....who cares...the best they can do is fone or msg!...

TCHEH!.....I AGREE WITH U...FOR ONCE!

go on nd catch up with wat uv lost ok??nd dont forget!!!!!

ILL TRY NOT TO!.TTYL!!!

ps- to all dose folks reading this - its reali meaning less readin dis. shes alright . with her feet on the floor. this was a diary entri made on 12 november 2007 actualli.

she just decidd to put it down here.

caught in btween

sanity and insanity

girl and woman

family and friend

pride and humility

reality and dreams

honesty and dishonesty

outside and inside

silence and chaos

faith and mistrust

compassion and concern


haves and hav-nots

kindness and prejudice

rules and rebels

calm and fierceness

sea and land

duty and procrastination

beauty and beast

humour and gloom

smile and frown

day and night

today adn tomorrow

fun and toil

freedom and work

love and lust

hate and disgust

slavery and independence

boerdom and excitement

developed and primitive

winning and losing

spontaneous adn thoughtful

perfection and imperfection

thoughts and actions

prayers and curses

peace and war

connections and loose threads

sketches and paintings

use and abuse

poetry and paragraphs

alike and different

likes and dislikes

fortune and misfortune

riches and rags

brain and brawn

volcano and ocean

breeze and tornado

hurt and indifference

help and heal

sensitive and numb

balance and imbalance

breath and breathless

strength and weakness

trial and error

ego and sacrifice

satisfaction and disappointment

living and dead

its a long thing to read...i kno
the gist of it??? - im confused....i v plannd mi futur...mi life....dats d preoblem....i dont know wat to do with the extra energy i have

yup...ok i m rili stupid now....wat do i do??? ill tok walk nd look thru stuff i havent
ill njoi

ill pik a fight.....with mr/ms random

yup..im dat jobless......get sumthin to da dan blog amrita.....its geting ridiculous.... various ppl may be viewing it for various reasons...and n no. of times

ATLEAST PPL READ IT!!!! ITS NOT LIKE DEY R UNINTERESTED!!!

ya mmeb...they jst read it bcuz they dont know how to communicate eith you
they read because theyd like to kno wat u dont tell them

RUBBISH!!! LIKE I WRITE NETHING UNSPOKEN OF OVER HERE!!

sumtimes u do...yes sometimes.....but y do u blog!

' HMMMM COME TO THINK OF IT...I RILI DONT KNO!!!'

see??? y do u blog??? u dont kno!!!
y do u chat ?? u dont kno!!!
what to do with all the energy u have??? u dont kno!!!
what to do in life?? u dont kno!!!
let me suggest sumthing..y dont u jst cool down adn lisen to sum music??

' WHAT A THERAPY!!!..' ILL ONLI FAL INTO DREAMLAND!

u dont like dreamland???

ITS JUST THAT I HATE COMIN BAK TO REALITY

hmmm get sm1 to tok to then

IM TOKIN TO U...DODO!!!!

yes u r....and were not reaching any conclusion or any decision
so ....i think its best u go on...leave those who fail to leave an impression ..and meet new ones..
THats the way of life

its said -

More often , we fall in love with a person we can never live with, & sumtimes, the one we truly love remains a sttranger, or a friend.

So whoever's reading this...what dyu think???

goodness me!!! this is a long post!!! i dint realise!!
so wat will i do now???

i will listen. learn to keep mi ears n eyen open and mi mouth shut.

nd btw...dats a pic of how tangled life can get........

monday blues, whites,greens and blacks

tring tring!!!!!!
dats d alarm...weakin me up in d mornin

dad comes in

here's ur water ...and juice...and coffee with ur b fast

ty dad! i sa

( i kno u think im wieeerd to hav all this at once but i dont....im just lazy to go down nd get them ... so dad brings dem all up...to giv me compani while i mug write and revise)

wash mi face .. brush mi teeth....bla bla bla

got to mi books at 5

the onli thing dat is in mi head is the fact that the week has begun again...back to the daily monotony which breaks mi head, back to the daily downloads of information from the book to mi head....sigh!

im gonna go bonkers soon..if im alredi not!


it happens every single time...on a monday...my least fav day of d week ....mi dad makes the most gloomi kind of bfast....porridge...ragi porridge...sigh

even sprouts are more interesting

but today..for me sumhow time passed by so so slowli....like mi watch ws dead!

or meb i finishd studyin a lot more than i usualli do!

its bin such a long time since i felt young ..u kno totalli mast and carefree.....i jst let rip today...evn tho i was alone...

but hell its bak to monotony again aftr sumtime...like evri1 sz....DRAW THE LINE> nd stay within the limits

im a daredevil....so?

so?

what does it matter to ne1 ...as to what kind i am...im just timepass.....casual timepass...

it matters to me!!! one f mi frnds say!
i care!... another sz

i think we shud change d topic .............sm1 sz


wateva......yet another

wat???????....and the replies go on...nd on nd on

insecurities...uncomfortable....

leave . get out. right now. its the end. we exist no more. its u . its me. no we.

hello...who sd im hurt....im flying away!!!!