Call names

Well Mr G said that all the names over here were like call names, one never knew who i was referring to.

And from there arises a problem, since no1 knows who i refer to, except myself, there's always an inkling of doubt.

Well sometime ago, Mr M asked me who Mr M was - nd well, ya, there are tooooo many mr M's i know. I need to think of better names.

The wrong people think im referring to them, the right ones think im referring to someone else.
Maybe i should remove the anonymity.

No, i think it should be left as it is. Just to let people know that your blog, is not an open page,

Nor am i!

well , you are, kind of.

I can't believe i had a 3 hour long chat, with one of my most favourite ppl in the world,
Purely coincidental. He was free, and so was I

Why does every conversation start with a " wassup""?
It's a different wassa from different people, but dont people find it a bit too boring?

i sometimes do, no, actually, most of the time.

Ok fine , the other side of the argument could be, how else do we start?

Well it could be anything else, anyway else, a stupid satement, anything!!!!!

but ya, let ppl be themselves, let them do things the way they want to

There's this guy i know from pondicherry. He's watever you want in a normal guy, adding a bit of exuberance, and ummm a bit of lets say, hes a kleptomaniac.

And he drinks. Hes not a drunkard of course,but given the chance, he would drink.

Reminds me of quite a few ppl, i remmbr them suffering.I remember seeing them dead, dying, in the hospital. I remember so much. Thinking about that, mi grandad's deathday, comes this saturday. The day of my bio exam.

I don't know how my mother feels about it. I've seen her cry, I've cried, i loved and respected him so much. Its a pity he had to leave, leaving all my questions unanswered, i lost him. all because his liver couldnt take any more.

Ill miss him most on that day, and so will my mom.

Coming back, i was trying to make him understand that it wasnt good for him. It makes a big loss to a person's life. Ive known it. Ive seen it.

He just would not understand. Why do I keep butting my head against such brick walls?
Like my "master" said, just dont even bother, let them realise. Ill drop it.

Ive dropped it.

Mr M's supposed to be going away forever . He's leaving blore.

Well, can't say ill miss him, cant say that i'd forget him either.

Ill just never forget him, thats it.

Ive got to let him go. This is the end of the road, and whatever connection we had, is not meant to be. I have to let you go.

Wonder how though. Will all those "old man" nd "kiddo" IM's.

Ironic, he leaves the day my exams end. Too ironic.

But hell yes, ill always wish the best for you.

Gotta get a move on now!!!!
Im getting too senti!!

Thoughts.

A different view.

Well around 2 days ago, i was watching this lady talking to anothe about how to live a normal life. To listen to the signs, to watch where what was leading to ,and to think inward.

Well, the wa she said it made it seem so simple, and not like the high strung stuff i usually hear - like i have to try and give up all desires to attain the supreme.

Well, for a common individual like me, i don't find that fun, possible, or worth doing.


And when i heard this lady speak, about how, and why we should read the signs.
She took the example of traveling from one place to another. She asked, don't we stop by for petrol? In the same way, we must stop to see the fuel indicator to see where we stand.
If we don't stop to refuel the car, somewhere along the road, the car will stop, by itself.

Put yourself in the same case. If you don't pause, for just a minute and ponder about the direction of your actions, the journey is a little more than futile. If we don't pause, when we get exhausted and break down, we will have to go through a lot more to get back to the initial state of mind.

The same case with our thoughts and our impressions of people. The impressions of people are got through first, memories, outside information, and third, through beliefs.

Also, right now, the journey is taken as a race. A race to win. You compare your speed with thaat of your competitor, not cheking to see if you are comfortable with the speed at which you drive.

Its best to filter your thoughts, just pause for a minute and accept things to be the way they are.
Acceptance means that the mind should not be in a state of turmoil. Acceptance does not mean that that the situation is ok the way it is. That it cannot be changed. It can be.

Take for instance , the maid doesn't come one day. You have the choice to grumble and be grumpy that day or - you can accept that she hasnt come, and be a little less upset, when you have to do the housework all by yourself.

But in today's world, where people believe that anger is necessary, tension is natural , and that "i fight to win" is the motto of today, when did we allow these thoughts to enter our heads.

All we have do do is accept. The cycle goes like this - thought, action, memory, habit, experience, opportunity, destiny.

Here people say something, feel something else, and yet believe something else. We have all been conditioned to be actors, but we do no realise that we hurt ourselves more, first. How will the other person know we act? Say what you have to, but do ponder about what has to be said and done.

Well, i seem to have typed too much. Maybe all this has been said elsewhere, a thousand million billion times, but I understood this, Its like ive gone through life to apply myself to everything she said.

Acceptance. The first step to creating a better destiny.

Facts

Oh joy, seems again i'm all tongue tied.

Wish i knew the difference between where to stop and where to start

So, tomorrow's women's day, and we all plan to go out, and just .....go out. Nothing lavish, nothing great. just going out.

And being a family

The facts stand as below -

1)What people say is or can be very misleading. Very, for the simple reason that - eithr wat they say is not what they meant to say, or is not properly understood .Same with their actions, they can be very misleading.

2)Whatever happens, happens for a reason, if you weren't able to make it to school on time, it's for a reason. The only catch is that we don't kno what the reason is.

3)All the above is something that's called "words of wisdom"

I don't care about words of wisdom.
I need the truth. No vague answers.

that's another fact. I ask. I want answers.

Here i am, surrounded by nonsense, looking for that one grain of truth. I don't give a damn if it hurts or not, but i want it. Actually, it does matter if it hurts or not, but its better than reciprcating emotions for a downright lie.

I wish i was more than human.

So that i could understand what life's all about.

What death is. What we do after we die, what we become, what our mission is.

Mom says that, the fact that these questions arise from me is a very good sign. That i don't take what is around me for granted.

She's already advanced. Way beyond.

Shivaratri is one day, i ask all my questions to Shiva. After all, he destroys, so he would know the answer, and would also "destroy" mi questions.

I got answers, but all in a wierd way. Haven't yet figured out the meaning.

THIS BLOG POST IS B.O.R.I.N.G. BBBBBOOOOORRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGG

i dint ask you to read it . Its sumthing i write what i think about.

Oh totally forgot, was chatting with my frieng , hes Mr G. A totally "careful" "caring" "carefree" guy.

We were tokin about a lot, which was when the topic of tru happiness, also known as "bliss" came up.
And my days were all not blissful. I complain, a lot, dammit. About the fluff in the world, and the stuff it hides.

He's a great motivator, can change a grin to an ear-to ear smile.
Thanks, mr G. i o u 1.

Daily tidbits ( only not that tasty)

Hi



Today was boring. I been struggling with my duvet, it went all squishy wishy in the cover, all side ways and tangled up!. So here is was, duvet over my shoulder tugging the bottom, gave up, threw it to the bed, and sat down all upset, hehehe. I did it in the end though, no help from anyone...aww :)



Today was kinda horrible. And i'm sleepy, have been waking up at 3am to go to the toilet, so, tonight i should be alright. I'm sitting here yawning and it's only 8 40 am!. Think i'll go off pc, and sleep a little bit :), but ya, who can, with d next bord xam, around the corner?



My writing is going great, i'm just pissed it all goes into romantic crap, i really can't be bothered anymore you know, i'm not that good any way, i dont write about smell, or how people look, or how they feel do i :(

Balls to them all newais, i had just gone to d market to get groceries nd stuff, which is when just in front of the crowded shop, my money fell. IT was all notes actually, so i thot it would all blow away.!!

I was so suprised. All the people around me there bent down to pick up watever had fallen and returned it to me. There was this one guy in particular , who had picked up quite a bit.

Every one knows the usual courtesy -"Thank you". But when i looked into his eyes, i saw something else. I saw them shining,( not with tears, thats stupid) but definetli, they lookd ablaze.

Honestly, its what do you call it, shyness or whatever,u kno to act more womanly, and shield your eyes from his gaze. I just couldn't stop looking. i wasnt staring, u kno, d gawking sorta thing,

Thats when he said - yea heres your money. Gow did you just let it slip off your hands like that?

I really dont know how it happened - is what i hear myself say.
Thank you

Your welcome - and there he goes, giving me a smile. i walked back home, wierd as tho it may seem, i felt ive seen him somewhere before, i know that face.

and now he knows mine.

It had its disadvantages though, i wasnt able to concentrate on finishing my least favorite chapter in physics - electrostatics.

And yes, ive finally found who i was looking for, a guy who was looking for me!!!
yipee..... it shud be YIPEEE!!!!

honestli, he was looking for me, but he dint know how, i knew where to find him, and i did. onli a bit too late, he might have lost it.

look at me - the way im typing- again, it went into men adn romantic crapshit ... i have no story lines, i just kinda gabble on till i run out of words.

stupid.

but yes, dad should be quizzing me soon

btw, for all those looking here for a more personal view of myself - YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET IT HERE.

This is a blog. Not a profile page.

One of my friends said that people look at a blog to get the inside information about a person.
I think ppl get a lot of inside info about me from here, they either refuse to believe or they don't understand.

Thank you, mr M for letting me off the hook. I thot it was my fault. Im just letting you go. You can leave, No strings attached.